loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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