i jhust puked up my retainher.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize