i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
