Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize