The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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