That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
