i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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