i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
