you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
