the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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