He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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