Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have feelings that need drinking.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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