how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I FOUND THE LEGS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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