Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
