I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
