just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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