cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
