you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
