mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry about my life...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
