i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
