Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
