If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
