I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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