There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
