Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
