He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
