By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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