its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
