You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
