pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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