girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
