morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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