Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize