hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
