sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
