Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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