just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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