I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
