I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
