he wants to bone in the snuggie
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
