Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
