ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
