I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
