Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
