I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
