There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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