Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
