what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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