this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
