no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
