Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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