Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
