yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
