i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
