Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
