is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
