no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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