I heard we made out
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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